Things to ask online dating
It feels different, because it feels more like I’m rejecting a person, well, personally, rather than saying they aren’t the right fit or we had more qualified applicants. I do indeed think the etiquette for rejection in different in these two situations: It’s much more acceptable not to reply to messages from would-be suitors on online dating sites than it is for employers not to reply to job applicants.
Dating as an institution is a relatively recent phenomenon which has mainly emerged in the last few centuries.
From the standpoint of anthropology and sociology, dating is linked with other institutions such as marriage and the family which have also been changing rapidly and which have been subject to many forces, including advances in technology and medicine.
But the bottom line is: when a man says he doesn’t want a relationship with you, believe him. So instead of chasing him and triggering his response to retreat, be the single woman he supposedly wants you to be…
You don’t have to stop seeing him if you don’t want to, but don’t sucker yourself into believing that you’re going to change the situation, change him, “reach his misunderstood and mistreated heart”, etc. The higher your “market value” is on the singles market, the more likely he’ll be to want to lock you down in a relationship. Moreover, if a guy knows full well that another man would be glad to snap you up in a relationship and he still doesn’t come around and want an exclusive relationship with you, then you can be certain that there was nothing you could have done to make him want to be exclusive with you…
People are often ashamed to come forward and admit that they’ve been duped.
It’s not a good feeling to have been taken advantage of, and a scheme that’s so obvious in hindsight is even harder to admit to. If you date online, take precautions to protect yourself.
If you’ve completely screwed things up by being needy, insecure, etc, and given everything so the guy doesn’t feel the need to commit to you anymore, is there any hope in hell of changing things around, considering the renewed attitude I received thanks to you guys?
The number one reason women have so much trouble getting themselves out of a position like this is because they fixate more and more attention on the guy as he gives less and less. I’m not talking about holding back or intentionally trying to manipulate a guy by “making him work for you” with games and tricks. What I do recommend is you recognize that you’re choosing the situation you’re in and that choice is looking more and more like an ineffective strategy in getting the guy to have a relationship with you in the way you want. Sure, he’ll say all sorts of nice things to you to keep you as invested as possible in him. After all, he doesn’t want a relationship, he doesn’t want a title, he doesn’t want to be exclusive.
Part of it, too, is that there’s more of an understanding (or at least there’s supposed to be) that hiring and applying for jobs is, well, business not personal.