What was once readily available is suddenly gone, and no matter how hard we try to regain our partner’s former affection, it now seems beyond our reach. They don’t need more time to figure out their emotions. The “hot” phase begins with a bang of overwhelming recognition. Bathed in newfound attention, flattery and flirtation spark a strong attraction for this person.They’re not sorting out their last breakup, and they’re not swamped at work. The hot/cold scenario typifies much more than a lack of certainty on a lover’s part. You quickly find yourself craving more of this delicious new feeling.

This is the core thinking of the partner who initiates hot/cold, and serves as their safety net to vulnerability. Because relationship uncertainty makes human beings yearn for stability.

Our automatic response is to chase when the “other” pulls away.

I realize that my response has focused on what you can do.

This is all that is under your control and what others do is not something that you have control over.

I write my articles with the desire to address this and hopefully have my readers gain new insight.

Matthew ‘Therefore all things whatsoever ye would that men should do to you, do ye even so to them: for this is the law and the prophets.’ The Golden Rule should be the guideline for all of us!Whether initiated by a cold-shoulder, avoidance, or lack of communication… This phase activates loss, making you yearn for them and wait with bated breath for their call or text. These are the basic dance steps to this type of behavior. This formula is predictable and consistent even when your partner’s reactions are not.Weve all been on the receiving end of mind games, and weve all experienced people who like to test us and put us through the psychological ringer.Perhaps they can see some ways to not get caught up with dating “games”. Sometimes our expectations get ahead of reality and cause our feelings to get hurt.See our previous blog post about How to keep your expectations in check.This phase lures you into the hopes of the possibility of romance.