Christian culture is like any other in that we develop truisms that we accept without verifying.

Myth #1: "God has one woman picked out for you to marry.

You are destined to be with her, and God will guide you to her." Good luck finding this one in the Bible.

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There are frequent gatherings in restaurants, bars, churches, museums or country walks.

The Christian Connection discussion boards are a popular way to share stories, advice and opinions about life as a single Christian.

This involves judging a potential guy or girl for the 38 qualities you are looking for in an ideal mate—before even grabbing coffee together. Sometimes the “hanging out” leads to hooking up, sans dating, which is another uber-confusing side effect of the Faux Christian Dating cycle. What if Christians just began to date like normal people—not dating toward immediate marriage and not eschewing dating for the less-desirable “hanging out” no man’s land?

It’s like arranged marriages where no one is making the arrangements, and it doesn’t seem to work very well. Here’s what I think it would require: Stop evaluating whether the guy who’s taken an interest in you is strong and tenderhearted enough to raise your future kids.

A wise man once told me that there were only two outcomes for dating relationships: getting married or breaking up.

“The secret,” he said, “is knowing how to handle a dating relationship so you know if the other person is worth marrying or he or she is honored in the breakup.” Unfortunately, it seems like many young singles struggle to figure out just how to handle dating–and I’m not the only one who’s noticed how weird the Christian dating scene can be.

At Focus on the Family, we've offered a range of resources and expert advice bringing biblical principles to bear in this area.